While children teach us about joy, they also remind us of something just as important: responsibility.
As a parent, your role necessarily involves discipline. Love without discipline is not enough. If you love your children, you must be the one to guide and correct them. Otherwise, someone in the world who does not love them will. True love means setting boundaries, teaching right from wrong and preparing them to stand on their own.
As a grandparent, the role shifts. It is our children’s responsibility now to be the parents. I get to be Papa. I get to enjoy time with our grandchildren, loving them, playing with them and encouraging them, while their parents take on the responsibilities of raising, guiding them and disciplining them. The gift is not avoiding responsibility; the gift is being freed to experience pure, uncomplicated love. But the lessons children teach us go far beyond the family.
My wife, Maryellen, and I have supported Cleveland Clinic Children’s Hospital over the years because we believe there is nothing more important than caring for a child in need. When you see the dedication of the nurses, doctors and caregivers who pour their hearts into healing young patients, you are reminded of what truly matters. These caregivers do extraordinary things, bringing comfort and hope to families during difficult moments.
Children are always watching, far more than they are listening. They see how you treat others, how you respond in difficult times, and how you show compassion and patience. In many ways, the greatest responsibility we have is not what we say, but what we model. We must be the example.
A special priest I met years ago, Monsignor John Patrick Carroll-Abbing, once wrote to me that the secret of happiness is to love, and the essence of love is to serve. He added, “For every tear you wipe off a child’s face, you light up a star in the sky.” That idea has shaped how I try to live, because love is not just something we feel, it is something we do.
When I think about legacy, titles and accomplishments are not what come to mind. What matters are the simpler things: husband, father, grandfather and friend. These are the roles that bring the deepest satisfaction and will matter most when all is said and done. But those relationships require effort.
Be involved. Be present. Spend time with children in their daily lives and activities. Time and attention are the greatest investments you can make. And instill in them a strong work ethic. Talent and opportunity will only take them so far. Character, discipline and a willingness to work are what sustain success over a lifetime.
Arthur Brooks has written that a meaningful life is built on faith, family, friends and work that serves others. He also describes happiness as a combination of pleasure, meaning and satisfaction. These ideas reinforce a simple truth: a fulfilling life is not built on what we accumulate, but on how we live and serve.
In the end, happiness is not a destination at which we arrive; it is something we learn along the way in how we live, how we love and how we serve others each day. We sometimes spend too much energy pursuing success and worrying about the future. ●
Umberto P. Fedeli is President & CEO of The Fedeli Group
