If you want a friend, you need to be a friend. The same is true for success. I believe if you want success in your life or business, you must help others become successful first. As soon as you give away what you ultimately want, you’ll often find it comes back to you.
Some people may try to take advantage of generosity or the law of reciprocity. But those exceptions shouldn’t cause us to treat people poorly, or hold back kindness or the ability to help others.
I try to live by the infinite game rather than the finite game. The infinite game has no finish line. When you focus on the infinite game, the emphasis shifts away from short-term wins and toward long-term sustainability, culture and people. With the right culture in place, strategy becomes clearer, teamwork becomes stronger and people begin to thrive. After all, most wins or losses in business, or life, usually come down to people. Having the right people in the right positions, aligned with a strong culture, makes all the difference.
Engagement is another cornerstone. If associates are truly engaged, they’re more likely to buy into the mission. And when your team is bought in, clients feel it too. Happy associates lead to happy clients. Engagement isn’t about giving people every answer, it’s about helping them find the answers, empowering them to grow and creating an environment where they feel valued.
But success isn’t the final destination. It’s only part of the journey. True fulfillment comes when success is paired with significance. Life is about making meaningful contributions while serving others, solving problems and adding value.
That means going above and beyond expectations. It means under-promising and over-delivering so that every relationship is built on trust. The same principles apply both in business and in life, because we don’t live in silos. Consistency of character is critical. Integrity, honesty, loyalty, kindness and respect should not shift depending on whether you are wearing the hat of an executive, parent, spouse, friend or community member.
Respect, in particular, is central to leadership. Leaders who aren’t authentic or consistent will usually struggle to inspire others. Some of the strongest leaders I know are those whose decisions are guided by the core values of kindness, relationships and reciprocity, respect, and consistency of character.
Serving others should be at the heart of leadership. That means being responsive to others’ needs, resourceful in finding innovative alternatives and honest about shortcomings. One of the greatest strengths a leader can have is humility: the willingness to admit mistakes, learn from them and grow alongside others.
Relationships should be treated as a forever investment. The best leaders focus on people first by fostering connections, adding value, solving problems and networking to share resources and ideas. Sometimes that means not having all the answers yourself but knowing how to connect the dots to someone who does.
Authentic leadership is about leading with integrity, not acting a part. I believe in being direct, honest and genuine in all roles of life. As Warren Bennis once said, “Managers do things right. Leaders do the right things.”
Life is more about making a contribution than a comparison. If you focus on people, developing relationships and staying consistent in your values, success and significance will follow. ●
Umberto P. Fedeli is President & CEO of The Fedeli Group
