Do the people that work for or around you like you? Do they genuinely think you’re a good, solid, trustworthy person? Or are you simply respected and feared? Because fear and respect, to people in positions of power, resemble being liked. For some leaders, being feared and respected is enough. Is it to you?
When I started my leadership journey, I couldn’t honestly tell the difference between being liked, respected or feared. I just assumed I was entitled to being liked by others since I liked myself, and people treated me with a satisfying deference anyway. But one day, at the funeral of a friend and mentor, that all came crashing down.
Rick Hash was a known, well-respected, soft-spoken member of our church in Rootstown, Ohio. He loved to hunt, as do I, and one year he shot a nice buck that I offered to taxidermy for him. We spent a couple of weekends working together on it and struck up a lovely friendship. He was just a sweet and gentle guy. Professionally, he owned a physical therapy business and employed a lot of people. In his 50’s, he got a sudden and severe cancer diagnosis that took him fast.
My wife and I went to his funeral. It was jam-packed and people had to be seated outside of the sanctuary in the lobby. His college-aged kids, family and our pastor gave beautiful eulogies, and the room was full of tears. Then it happened; the pastor opened up the mic, and one by one his employees walked up to the podium and started giving their own tributes. They told stories of how he helped them start their careers, took care of their families and cut them slack when they made mistakes. It went on and on, and I was astounded by the love his people had for him. It blew my mind. It also broke my heart. Because in that moment, I knew if this was my funeral it probably wouldn’t be the same story. Right then and there, although I had no idea how to make it happen, I resolved to find a way to lead my people in ways that at least opened the door to the kind of love I was witnessing that day.
Twenty years later, I can’t say definitively if I have succeeded in that. I have fallen short in so many ways. But my steady focus has always been on trying to center the person in front of me, to slow down, to be vulnerable at times, to say I’m sorry, and to forgive. I could write a book about how I’ve tried. Perhaps in the end, that’s the best we can do: try. But I do know this. It can be done. You can be super successful in business and lead people, love people, in a way that causes them to love you back. What a powerful testimony.
Where are you with that today? Are you trying? Are you on a journey to live a life that inspires love in the hearts of the people around you? Because, like all personal growth, finding and facing the truth about where you are is the essential first step. ●
Daniel Flowers is President and CEO of the Akron-Canton Regional Foodbank
