I’ve written a lot about how I’m working to create a healthy culture within my company. Part of that healthy culture has been to make sure that the people working within my company have enough restorative time. That they take the time that they’ve earned to refresh, reconnect with family and have time for themselves.
Having a great culture doesn’t necessarily mean having standing desks or lots of free snacks available. It means understanding that people need time away from work to be great when they’re at work, and I really believe this. The harder question is whether I’m actually living it. Simply put, no.
Recently, I took some time off for the holidays. This would be the break to recharge I badly needed. Of course, there were family commitments and parenting responsibilities, and it seemed like the perfect opportunity to catch up on some work because isn’t that what breaks are for? So, I scheduled some meetings, and brought home strategy materials, an excerpt from “Measure What Matters” by John Doerr, a research paper from Goldman Sachs on AI, and an activity packet from Section AI. Not to mention, the tattered trust documents that have been riding shotgun with me for four months because I am sure this will be the week I get to it.
This is the part where I say, “I love my job.” And it’s true, I do love my job. I am passionate/obsessed with building my company and making it the best place it can be, which is exactly why I need time away from it. The more I am in the day-to-day grind, the less I’m able to think into the future, get into a flow state and just let my mind go. It’s hard to envision a future if you keep yourself stuck in the here and now.
Truthfully, my company is like a beautiful child that I cannot say no to. I know this pattern isn’t sustainable, but right now, I tell myself it’s okay to bend the rules, that it’s just until I get to that magical next place. Because, when you’re building a business, how do you deny it what it so clearly needs: more of you?
The best answer I can give to that question is “with intention.” I am a work in progress striving to fit into the culture of responsibility I’ve created. I’m great at demanding more of myself, and my new demand is to create more distance. Trying to meet this demand makes me feel both relieved and a little guilty, but thankfully, relief is winning.
As leaders, we lead by example. I realized that overwork had quietly become one of the examples I was setting. In my mind, my employees love to see that I am 100 percent committed, that I never stop. After all, I wasn’t demanding that of them. Then I remembered a time about 25 years ago, my husband’s old boss bought a car that didn’t have power windows or air conditioning, something still possible in the early aughts.
I remember saying to him, “This means never ask for a raise.” It didn’t matter what the policies of that culture were; the boss was telling everyone what the actual values of the company were, what the approved standard of living was and what leadership truly valued.
That’s when it clicked. I didn’t buy a car with no A/C. I bought a car with only a gas pedal.
This week I am doing what’s best for the company. I’m taking a break. ●
Jennifer Ake-Marriott is owner and CEO of Redmond Waltz
