November is the season of gratitude. Businesses thank clients, recognize employees and send gifts. All really worthwhile. But here’s the harder question: Do the people essential to your success actually feel valued, or do you simply assume they know?
In my consulting work, I challenge leaders to treat relationships as business assets, not byproducts of transactions. They influence retention, referrals, trust and future opportunities. Yet many organizations invest more discipline in winning relationships than in protecting the ones they already have.
Recognition acknowledges what someone does. Appreciation communicates why someone matters. The distinction extends to clients. A gift says thank you. Anticipating a problem, remembering a personal priority, or connecting someone to an opportunity says: I know you. I’m paying attention. Your client experience isn’t what your organization promises. It’s what people actually experience.
When an important client leaves, a key employee departs or a referral never happens, we often treat it as an isolated event. Frequently, it is the lagging indicator of a relationship we stopped investing in. And that leads to a question every leadership team should be willing to answer: If relationships are among your organization’s most valuable assets, why aren’t you managing them with the same discipline you apply to financial performance?
Put your relationships to the test
This November, replace your appreciation campaign with a 30-day relationship challenge. Give your leadership team four assignments.
- Expose relationship risk. List your 10 most important client relationships. For each, identify the relationship owner, two other meaningful connections and the last time you learned something new about the client’s priorities. Then ask: If our primary contact left tomorrow, would this relationship survive? Flag relationships dependent on one person. Assign an owner and schedule a second-contact conversation within 30 days.
- Make five no-ask relationship deposits. Strong relationships are built by making deposits long before you need to make a withdrawal. Each relationship manager selects five clients and delivers something useful unrelated to a sale: an introduction, insight, resource or solution to an overlooked frustration. No pitch. No referral request. Document the value delivered — not the number of emails sent.
- Find your invisible contributors. Ask each manager to meet privately with an employee whose behind-the-scenes work makes others successful. Describe their specific impact. Then ask: What is one thing we could change that would make you feel more valued? Commit to one feasible improvement and report back within two weeks.
- Challenge an assumed relationship. Identify a longstanding client you haven’t meaningfully listened to in six months. Ask two questions: What has changed for you that we may not fully understand? Where have we made it difficult to work with us? Fix one issue. Then close the loop.
The real test of gratitude
At your next leadership meeting, require evidence. Which relationships were vulnerable? What did we learn? What changed because we listened? What will we do differently next month?
Competitors can imitate products and prices. They have a harder time replicating relationships deliberately strengthened over time. That’s not simply good manners. That’s a real competitive advantage. ●
Judy Bodenhamer is the Founder of Client Experience Group
