One of the things I’ve learned over the years is that the people surrounding a leader often place a lot more emphasis on the things that leader says than the leader realizes. The degree to which leaders come to understand this initially bewildering phenomenon can increase their effectiveness and reduce misunderstandings. For instance, I have been amazed to walk through the warehouse and discover policies and practices that I didn’t know I had approved.
“That’s an interesting new look. Are we allowing shorts in the warehouse during the summer now?”
“I thought you told the warehouse manager it was fine, Dan.”
“Interesting …”
As I’m walking back to my office, I replay the conversation in my head. Six months earlier, the warehouse manager mentioned the idea. We talked about it for a few minutes. I asked a few questions. I probably said something like, “Yeah, I’d be open to that.”
Apparently, somewhere between that conversation and today, “I’d be open to that” became, “Dan approved it.”
I never made the decision. At least I didn’t think I had. Either way, I let it slide.
That has happened more times than I can count. A conversation about changing a policy. An idea for reorganizing a department. A different way of handling volunteers. Sometimes I was busy. Sometimes I wanted someone to think through the implications a little more. Sometimes I just wasn’t ready to decide. But people often hear curiosity as agreement or caution as disagreement.
I’ve come to believe that’s because leaders are heard differently; louder than everyone else. When a leader says, “Great idea,” people sometimes hear, “Go ahead.” When a leader says, “That might not work,” people hear, “They won’t allow it.” Often, people align what they thought they heard with what they wanted the leader to say, so you have to be really clear about it. The challenge is remembering that exploring and deciding are two different activities people constantly confuse.
I’ve gotten better at saying, “I’m open to the idea, but I’m not deciding today.” Those extra few words have saved a lot of confusion. Remember that being open-minded doesn’t mean your mind has already been made up. Neither does being cautious. Make sure people know the difference.
There’s another lesson in this, too. If you’re the one bringing the idea, don’t assume the discussion was the decision. Clarify it. Ask the question: “Are we talking about this, or have we actually decided?” “Did you just state a preference, or should I adopt that as policy?” It sounds simple, but it isn’t.
For years, I have joked that things would be a lot different at the Foodbank if I were in charge. What makes the irony of that statement work is that 1) I am in charge, and 2) I can list a ton of situations where the forces of human nature just took over and all I could do was hang on. Leadership requires enough humility not to get demoralized by things being attributed to you that you never said or meant to imply. ●
Daniel Flowers is President and CEO of the Akron-Canton Regional Foodbank
