How do you make sure that what you perceive matches up with what they actually hear?
It sounds cliché, but listening is a huge part of that and asking questions — you don’t say, ‘What did you hear me say?’ but you can craft questions as the dialogue goes that can help you understand whether they’re getting it or not. Reading people’s facial expressions and body language makes a big effort — it’s emotional intelligence and making sure you’re picking up on the cues and paying attention to whether people are understanding you. When they start bringing a different topic, it shows that they’re not quite understanding what you’re talking about and that’s why they’re taking it in a different language.
How do you listen effectively?
Most of it is just honestly a commitment to pay attention to what you’re doing at the time and compartmentalizing — this half-hour is for this person. When you scheduled it, you thought it was important enough to schedule, so focus on it. It is important to this person. That level of focus and attention in a hectic environment helps to make the person feel heard. And you learn things because you’re paying attention to the person in front of you. Whether it’s at a networking event or a meeting in the office, focus on the person you’re talking to — and then move on to the next thing. It takes practice though.
[It’s hard] especially depending on what you’ve got going on. You have to leave for your flight in a half hour, so do you want to be listening, or are you thinking of if you have everything in your bag? It’s a challenge sometimes.
How to reach: NorTech, (216) 363-6883 or www.nortech.org
