Flourishing: The art and science of its four dimensions change everything

Brace yourself: What I’m about to tell you might be contrary to everything you’ve heard about how to thrive in your personal and professional life. Ready?
The idea of achieving work/life “balance” is a bunch of a malarkey (yes, that’s a scientific term). It doesn’t exist in nature, in science, nor in personal or professional relationships.
Before you let out a sigh of exasperation, there’s hope. You do have the ability to set priorities and be intentional about decisions you make — and I would argue the duty — to be purposeful and not let life just happen to you.
Sometimes that means being OK with letting things slide. You can’t be the perfect spouse, parent, leader and friend — all while taking care of yourself.
And that’s OK. You can still flourish. By definition, flourish means to grow luxuriantly.
There are four dimensions to flourishing. My research aligns nicely with that of Martin Seligman, Ph.D., who also has done extensive work in the field:

1. Self-care. Flourishing starts with taking excellent care of your most valuable asset: you. Start with a focus on your health and your surroundings: balanced nutrition, exercise, getting enough sleep, creating a synergistic and inviting environment in your home and office. Engage in activities you really enjoy.
2. Sustenance. Have you reached your professional goals and made the contribution you would like to in your industry? Of course, money isn’t everything but we all need a certain amount of wealth to do the things we love and contribute to our families and communities. It’s important to have a financial plan and be purposeful in following it.
3. Synergy. How many times have you heard respected leaders preach that good business is based on good relationships? It’s true. And those relationships start with you. To flourish, you must start with a healthy, authentic and nurturing love of self. Then, examine relationships with family, friends and colleagues.
4. Spirit. For some, this might be a religious distinction, but it doesn’t have to be. A healthy spiritual foundation can also be about mindfulness. The neuroscience is clear, and many of the top companies in the world are paying attention.

Does all of this sound overwhelming? Relax. It’s impossible to “balance” these dimensions all of the time. It’s about priorities.
My grandmother, Ethel Kearney, only received an eighth-grade education. She married a sharecropper of modest means and together they raised 18 children.
With few resources, my grandparents created a way to not just survive, but thrive. Several of their children earned Ivy League educations and became attorneys, judges, authors and public servants. All except three have terminal degrees.
Now that’s flourishing.

We each flourish in our own way. The point is that we are purposeful in our desire to thrive and to contribute, especially as a leader. Your decisions affect those you serve and those you support every day.

Rachel Talton, Ph.D., is CEO of Synergy Marketing Strategy & Research Inc. and the Flourish Conference for Women in Leadership. She also serves on the board of directors for Destination Cleveland, Cuyahoga Community College and JumpStart Inc. She is also an adjunct professor at Case Western Reserve University.

EVENT: The Flourish Conference for Women in Leadership will come to Cleveland Oct. 30. It will feature speakers, workshops and collaborative coaching. For information, visit www.flourishleaders.com/conferences.