There are basically two types of bullies. The first are the physical ones who use their size to intimidate. Most of us have probably encountered these Twinkie-laden characters before reaching the sixth grade. They tend to fade into oblivion either by meeting their comeuppance at the hand of an even bigger bully or by finally learning their lesson as their complexions clear.
The second breed are mental bullies. Unfortunately, this group is more pervasive. They come in all sizes and shapes but have one common characteristic — a caustic tongue. Their bravado accelerates or wanes depending on the targeted victim’s initial reaction.
In business, a mental bully can be a middle-ranking wannabe, a senior manager or even the CEO. If it’s the boss wielding the abuse, the path of least resistance for some recipients is to begin looking at want ads or networking through the likes of LinkedIn. For others, this challenging question emerges: Do the benefits of the job overshadow the acrimonious environment, or is life too short to put up with this type of nonsense?
Where the onus lies
I have advised people who have found themselves in this predicament to first have a heart-to-heart with their boss and ask pointedly what they can do to ameliorate the situation. This is the tact to take if one wants to make the job work as it reflects a willingness to alter his or her behavior, but in reality it puts a subtle onus on the bullying honcho.
The typical reaction from the boss is mock surprise, “Moi, I had no idea!” This can provide a wakeup call and many times nudge the wheels back on the rails in the relationship. Sometimes the leader will even say, “Thanks, I needed that.”
Lower-level bullies are perhaps easier with which to deal once their DNA is cracked, and it is determined if they are really mental tough guys looking for an unfair advantage or instead the most insecure people in the room.
Confrontation
Most bullies of this ilk usually seek out those who shun confrontation. If one gets in their face they move on to the next, perceived anyway, 90-pound weakling. The best antidote is to confront the bully without losing one’s temper and call him or her on the inappropriate behavior and veiled threats. Cap your monologue with a warning of your own along the lines of “don’t start something you can’t finish, as this will not end well for you.” While this sounds like something out of a Clint Eastwood movie, it usually works and, if nothing else, makes the one preyed upon feel better.
Business bullies are self-doubting people looking for ways to assert themselves, while deep down inside the insecurity demons gnaw away at them. Just as with the playground bully, the corporate intimidator will likely suppress his character flaw after a few attempts to overpower boomerang. Or perhaps he will get his just desserts at the hand of a vigilant boss. A strong offense beats a whimpering defense when dealing with those who don’t have confidence in themselves.
Michael Feuer co-founded OfficeMax and in 16-years, as CEO, grew the retailer to sales of$5 billion in 1,000 stores worldwide. Today, as founder/CEO of Max-Ventures, his firm invests in and consults for retail businesses. Serving on a number of boards, Michael is a frequent national speaker, and author of the business books “The Benevolent Dictator” and his newest book ”Tips from the Top.” His long running nationally syndicated Smart Business magazine column has received more than 10 awards for excellence.
